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For many participants, the journey began with overcoming skepticism. Flight Larus, a fourth-year student, admitted to approaching registration with a sense of trepidation.

“I figured the retreat would be stuffed animals, coloring exercises, yoga, or journal writing,” Larus said, though he eventually decided to trust the process. 

Leaders encourage participants to have meaningful conversations with fellow students through different activities. (Photo by Ellen J. Daniels)

A recurring theme in the retreat is the danger of perfectionism. To combat burnout, participants are encouraged to re-evaluate their “goalposts.” By identifying individual values and purpose, students can redefine what “excellence” means to them personally, rather than chasing a standardized version of success. Ugyen Tshomo, a first-year Ph.D. student, found Kelly Crace’s session, “Disruptions to Joy: Fear-Based Model of Excellence,” particularly powerful in highlighting how harsh self-judgement reduces daily joy.

“It helped me recognize how easily we can undermine our own happiness by constantly judging ourselves against unrealistic standards,” Tshomo said.

“As humans, we are always going to have fluctuations in our moods, given the challenges that come with life,” Smith said. Yet research shows fulfillment and joy are possible even during difficult situations, she said. The retreat focuses on “weathering those challenges in discerning and wise ways” to protect an internal sense of peace in the midst of external chaos.

“A common misconception is that well-being can be put off until success is met,” Smith said. “In reality, self-care is even more critical when we are in challenging seasons of life.”

While high-level concepts like “flourishing” may seem ambiguous, facilitators focus on the practical, helping students whittle broad ideas into actionable steps. For instance, a strategy for students struggling with anxiety over the future could be visualizing the best possible outcome of upcoming exams.

Facilitators suggest different strategies on managing stress, competition and fluctuations in mood for students to practice in their daily lives. (Photo by Ellen J. Daniels)

During chaotic weeks, the facilitators advise leaning into biological fundamentals: maintaining a consistent sleep routine, physical and emotional nourishment, journaling or talking to a loved one and deep breathing exercises to signal safety to the nervous system.

The structure of the retreat – an introductory dinner, a full-day retreat, and a follow-up debrief dinner – is intentional. By spreading the content over several weeks, students have the space to process and reflect rather than being overwhelmed by a single session.

“We really wanted to design a program where people could feel comfortable to be a little vulnerable,” Smith said, adding that a sense of community acts as a buffer against isolation that often comes in high-pressure academic environments.

Facilitators want students to leave the program with a “filter” for the constant societal messages about how to be happy. Since the event, participants have already begun applying these strategies.

“Since the retreat, I have been reminding myself to ‘reframe my mindset toward inner joy,’ which was a key takeaway from the sessions,” Tshomo said. She hopes to practice noticing moments of falling into fear-based thinking and shift toward values-based choices instead.

Larus has been reminding himself that it is more beneficial in the long run to treat others and himself with more compassion in his judgments and self-criticisms.

“There is a delicate balance between not becoming complacent in a lack of discipline but also being a bit harder on ourselves in an effort for legitimate growth,” Larus said. “We were reminded to be genuinely appreciative of our own successes in the midst of chasing greatness.”