Q&A: Do you really look bad in photos, or is it all in your head?

March 4, 2026
Mirrored portraits of Kim Penberthy, left shielding herself from the cameras, right posing with a smile

Kim Penberthy, Virginia’s 2023 Psychologist of the Year, says that because people are used to seeing themselves in 3D in a mirror, a flat photograph can look different, even strange. That’s why some people don’t like pictures of themselves. (Photo by Matt Riley, University Communications)

I don’t photograph well.”

It’s a common refrain. But why? What’s behind this feeling so many people express? The University of Virginia’s Kim Penberthy, a professor of research in psychiatric medicine, has some answers.

Q. Why do so many people believe they don’t photograph well, even when others say they look great?

A. Many of us might remember what we looked like at a younger age. I’ve heard lots of older individuals, people in their 70s and 80s, say, “I don’t remember looking like this.”

Portrait over the shoulder of Kim Penberthy showing her and the photographer in a mirror

Penberthy says younger generations, who have grown up seeing pictures of themselves on social media, are often more comfortable with how they look in photographs, compared to older generations that didn’t see so many similar images. (Photo by Matt Riley, University Communications)

Q. Does everyone feel this way about their photos?

A. There are some people who are very comfortable with their image, their pictures or looking in a mirror. There are some people who really love looking at themselves. We might call these people sort of vain or narcissistic, where they very much enjoy images of themselves in a sort of unhealthy way. We’re not talking about good self-esteem.

Q. What are people seeing when they look at themselves in the mirror, and how is that different from what they see in a photograph?

A. In a mirror, you see a reversed 3D image of yourself, so you’re seeing yourself, the left and right, flipped. And we get used to that, because most of us growing up, that’s the image of ourselves we see. The other interesting thing would be the prevalence of photos online that many of us didn’t have. If you’re Gen X or older, you didn’t grow up with pictures of yourself everywhere or seeing yourself on camera, on a video call, or anything like that.

Q. Is the prevalence of Zoom calls, FaceTime, and the like, a big player here?

A. Do you remember Skype? I was really disarmed by the way I looked because it was flipped from a mirror and I thought it looked strange. It took me a while to figure out what it was, and so I think that may be the biggest difference. In a mirror, people see a reversed, live, 3D version of themselves, and in a photo, they see a fixed, unreversed 2D snapshot. Our brains are most used to that reversed mirror image that’s unflipped and frozen. Freakily … it’s closer to what other people see, which might make you feel weird.

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Q. What about the sensation of watching yourself interact with others on camera?

A. There’s some research that talks about the fact that we’re not used to seeing ourselves in an interaction like that. If we’re in a group meeting, if we’re interacting one-on-one with someone, we’re not used to being able to see ourselves. And that is actually quite fatiguing, because you’re often drawn to look at yourself and not the other person. That can be very distracting, to be always looking at yourself and judging how your hair looks, or am I looking strange, am I paying attention? But we’re not used to that in normal interactions. We are looking at the other person attending to them and not seeing a reflection of ourselves or a photo of ourselves, essentially.

Q. So how can you kick that self-critical habit, being someone who is deeply uncomfortable having their photograph taken?

A. I think for someone noticing that about themselves, ask, “What am I worried about with this photo? Am I worried that it will prove that I look old or that I look overweight? Am I worried someone will see this?” You can do a little experiment, like, “What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” I might wish that I looked better, and yet, if this picture is there, it’s not going to turn people away from me. They’re not going to stop loving me or caring for me.

I think it is important to work towards feeling like you can participate in a safe way for yourself and feel like you’re focusing on the important things in your life. And for most of us, a photo or a group photo is not going to make or break our lives.

Media Contacts

Jane Kelly

University News Senior Associate Office of University Communications

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