WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:02.169 --> 00:00:03.169 Hi Everyone 00:00:03.169 --> 00:00:05.640 So I'm the son of immigrants both my 00:00:05.640 --> 00:00:08.781 parents are from Sri Lanka, so when I was in high- 00:00:08.781 --> 00:00:13.200 school I had no idea what I was doing I had a guidance counselor and I had 00:00:13.200 --> 00:00:17.560 friends who had older siblings who told me all of their advice but at the end of 00:00:17.560 --> 00:00:21.530 the day I didn't really know what I was doing when I was applying to schools. 00:00:21.530 --> 00:00:22.530 So, 00:00:22.530 --> 00:00:26.010 I applied to a bunch of schools and I knew most likely that if I got into UVA 00:00:26.010 --> 00:00:30.730 I'd probably come here because I'm from Virginia and it made sense and so when I 00:00:30.730 --> 00:00:34.300 got my acceptance letter I didn't look at any other schools I didn't visit any 00:00:34.300 --> 00:00:38.149 other schools really I just committed. 00:00:38.149 --> 00:00:40.149 And it would have been really scary had 00:00:40.149 --> 00:00:45.519 it not been for the fact that I knew if I came to UVA I'd be here with one of 00:00:45.519 --> 00:00:50.179 the best friends I've ever had his name was John Paul Popovich and we 00:00:50.179 --> 00:00:53.549 grew up together we known each other since we were like 11-years-old we did 00:00:53.549 --> 00:00:58.139 everything together and when we both got into UVA we knew we 00:00:58.139 --> 00:00:59.389 just had to be roommates. 00:00:59.389 --> 00:01:01.920 I just we had to do it we were gonna come here and do 00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:05.360 the college thing you know everything you see and the movies and more maybe 00:01:05.360 --> 00:01:09.829 not everything you see in the movies, but we were gonna come here and we're gonna 00:01:09.829 --> 00:01:12.870 live out our lives we're gonna have a fantastic time so we were super excited 00:01:12.870 --> 00:01:18.580 and that's what we did we came here to UVA that first semester and I had the 00:01:18.580 --> 00:01:24.270 best semester of my life I was focusing on grades and having a great time but 00:01:24.270 --> 00:01:27.829 let me tell you a little bit about JP and why we got along so well so in high 00:01:27.829 --> 00:01:31.590 school I was more of a reserved kid I didn't talk as much and I would hang out 00:01:31.590 --> 00:01:36.159 with people but JP is the one who really always brought me out of my shell he was 00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:40.710 a happy-go-lucky energetic always positive kind of kid who was so ready to 00:01:40.710 --> 00:01:45.229 face the world in any challenges that brought before him and he always dragged 00:01:45.229 --> 00:01:48.799 me along on whatever adventures he was going through so that's why we 00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:52.630 approached college any night I was sitting in my room doing chemistry 00:01:52.630 --> 00:01:56.750 homework, hating my life, he would drag me out to go play basketball with friends 00:01:56.750 --> 00:01:59.979 or go hang out in the quad or do whatever we had to do and it was 00:01:59.979 --> 00:02:03.170 fantastic and so that semester I was having the time of 00:02:03.170 --> 00:02:07.759 my life I was joining clubs and playing sports and making friends with my Hall 00:02:07.759 --> 00:02:11.430 and everything I did here I had my best friend by my side so nothing could go 00:02:11.430 --> 00:02:12.670 wrong. 00:02:12.670 --> 00:02:16.210 And there were so many moments when I would think to myself there's no 00:02:16.210 --> 00:02:19.989 reason this kid should be this excited about what he's doing right now okay. 00:02:19.989 --> 00:02:20.989 So, 00:02:20.989 --> 00:02:24.500 for example, he took Arabic intro to Arabic his first year his first semester 00:02:24.500 --> 00:02:27.780 and he'd never spoken a lick of Arabic in his life he could barely speak any 00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:33.440 other language English for that matter but that being said he took Arabic and 00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:36.040 he would go in the mornings he'd be studying and he'd say Rehan have a 00:02:36.040 --> 00:02:39.280 quiz today and I said okay good luck he'd come back to the room later that 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.310 afternoon with the biggest smile on his face and I said, "oh the quiz went great 00:02:42.310 --> 00:02:43.310 right?" 00:02:43.310 --> 00:02:46.810 he's like I absolutely failed that a hundred percent I failed that quiz but 00:02:46.810 --> 00:02:49.799 he was so excited because he was passionate about and he was excited to 00:02:49.799 --> 00:02:53.830 be trying something new and that's what I loved about it so we went through the 00:02:53.830 --> 00:02:58.489 semester we had a fantastic time and he was always a very lucky kid we get to 00:02:58.489 --> 00:03:02.720 finals our first semester here and he got to go home a whole four days earlier 00:03:02.720 --> 00:03:06.720 than me I was stuck here waiting for that chem exam on the last day and he 00:03:06.720 --> 00:03:10.730 went home and I remembered that day I texted him I was at the library 00:03:10.730 --> 00:03:13.079 studying he was headed home I said "make sure you lock the door," because he always 00:03:13.079 --> 00:03:15.849 forgot to lock the door and we didn't really talk after that because I knew 00:03:15.849 --> 00:03:18.700 I'd see him when we got home we'd go visit all our high school friends or 00:03:18.700 --> 00:03:22.512 whatever we had to do and so I went about the rest of my days at school 00:03:22.512 --> 00:03:26.180 knowing JP was at home and I finished my exams my dad came to pick me up that 00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:30.000 last day I was exhausted we packed up the car filled it with all the laundry I 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:34.200 could possibly put in there and we drove home and on the drive home it was late 00:03:34.200 --> 00:03:38.549 at night so I fell asleep and we got back to my driveway I woke up as we were 00:03:38.549 --> 00:03:41.739 pulling in and I checked my phone as I always do and I had a bunch of missed 00:03:41.739 --> 00:03:45.670 messages but I also had a missed call from a four three four number and I was 00:03:45.670 --> 00:03:49.469 like okay that's Charlottesville's area code you should probably call this back 00:03:49.469 --> 00:03:54.810 so I called the number back and the voice at the other end says hello Rehan 00:03:54.810 --> 00:03:59.060 this is Dean Groves and I'm thinking there I'm sitting there like oh my god 00:03:59.060 --> 00:04:05.579 I'm in so much trouble what did we do but what Dean Groves actually called to 00:04:05.579 --> 00:04:08.989 tell me was he said Rehan I need you to go find your family I need you to sit 00:04:08.989 --> 00:04:15.170 down your roommate has passed away and I didn't know what to say to them I had no 00:04:15.170 --> 00:04:19.320 idea how that could be possible that seen him three days before then and 00:04:19.320 --> 00:04:23.980 he said your roommate passed away in his family's home last night and I wanted to 00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:27.940 make sure you knew first before we sent an email out to the rest of your hall 00:04:27.940 --> 00:04:32.410 and the rest of the university community so I immediately called JP's parents and 00:04:32.410 --> 00:04:37.460 I went over to their house and they told me that he had just never woken up that 00:04:37.460 --> 00:04:42.150 morning so I'll be honest with you guys he had epilepsy his whole life and it 00:04:42.150 --> 00:04:45.060 was something we knew about it was something that was under control for our 00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:49.140 entire childhood when he was at school I made sure he took his meds every morning 00:04:49.140 --> 00:04:53.220 and he was great he was the fittest kid you'd ever see he was a state champion 00:04:53.220 --> 00:04:58.880 swimmer he was fantastically fit and again happy-go-lucky all the time and at 00:04:58.880 --> 00:05:02.180 that point I realize he hadn't had an episode for almost two years if I could 00:05:02.180 --> 00:05:05.980 remember properly but sometimes life gets to you and there's nothing you can 00:05:05.980 --> 00:05:07.660 really do about that. 00:05:07.660 --> 00:05:11.090 And so that winter break was probably the hardest month of 00:05:11.090 --> 00:05:16.040 my life I was sitting at home, friends were coming over and I just didn't want 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:19.570 to talk to you when I told my parents over and over again I'm not going back 00:05:19.570 --> 00:05:24.030 to school I can't go back there the home I built for myself there is dependent on 00:05:24.030 --> 00:05:27.290 me being there with John Paul so I'm not going back I'm going to take a semester 00:05:27.290 --> 00:05:30.890 off and then I'll transfer out when my parents said okay whatever you need to 00:05:30.890 --> 00:05:31.890 do. 00:05:31.890 --> 00:05:35.810 So, we go through the whole month I go to JP's funeral I speak there for a bit 00:05:35.810 --> 00:05:40.020 or I try to and we get through the end of the month we get to the day before I 00:05:40.020 --> 00:05:44.090 have to decide if I'm coming back for the spring term and my dad sits me down 00:05:44.090 --> 00:05:48.420 and he says, "Rehan look who talked to your mom we've talked to everyone and 00:05:48.420 --> 00:05:52.160 you're going back to school we're not giving you a choice," and I got to a huge 00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.990 blowout fight with my dad I thought he was doing the worst thing in the world 00:05:54.990 --> 00:05:58.740 he could possibly do to me but it was probably the best thing he ever did for 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:02.460 me but he packed my bag for me he threw all my junk in the car and he dragged me 00:06:02.460 --> 00:06:09.260 back to school and so I came back to my bedroom that I used to share with John 00:06:09.260 --> 00:06:12.990 Paul and obviously Dean Groves and everyone offered me the chance to switch 00:06:12.990 --> 00:06:16.090 rooms, but I didn't take it because I didn't want to be that new kid on a hall 00:06:16.090 --> 00:06:20.290 who had to explain why I moved but it was kind of a catch-22 because I 00:06:20.290 --> 00:06:23.710 realized that I couldn't sleep in that room anymore I couldn't share that space 00:06:23.710 --> 00:06:29.450 with someone I used to love and now I couldn't be in that space and so 00:06:29.450 --> 00:06:33.250 that semester I shut down I shut myself off from everything because the person who 00:06:33.250 --> 00:06:36.630 brought me to this school to get me out into the world was gone now so I 00:06:36.630 --> 00:06:40.020 immediately went back into my shell I stopped going to my classes I started 00:06:40.020 --> 00:06:44.750 failing them I stopped hanging out with my friends I quit all my clubs and I 00:06:44.750 --> 00:06:47.160 would do the bare minimum. 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:49.120 When I could go to class and try to pay attention I 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:55.410 would but that was really it and so that semester I quit on UVA. 00:06:55.410 --> 00:06:59.640 I started filling out applications to transfer right away, but the reason I am 00:06:59.640 --> 00:07:02.381 here four years later and the reason that I love Charlottesville and I love 00:07:02.381 --> 00:07:07.700 this school it's because even though I quit on UVA, it never quit on me. 00:07:07.700 --> 00:07:08.700 At that 00:07:08.700 --> 00:07:11.690 point I had gotten very used to this this idea that people would come up to 00:07:11.690 --> 00:07:15.110 me all the time and they'd say Rehan I heard your story I'm so sorry for your 00:07:15.110 --> 00:07:16.110 loss. 00:07:16.110 --> 00:07:17.110 People did that all the time at home 00:07:17.110 --> 00:07:19.770 people did it in Charlottesville still it happened everywhere I went and I was 00:07:19.770 --> 00:07:22.940 sick and tired of it because what does that do for me that doesn't bring back 00:07:22.940 --> 00:07:28.120 my best friend but the difference is here at UVA that's not where it stopped 00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:32.000 kids would have come up to me random strangers who I'd never met in my life 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.280 who had heard my story people who could go about their daily lives completely 00:07:35.280 --> 00:07:39.020 indifferent to the fact that I was going through something incredibly hard would 00:07:39.020 --> 00:07:42.280 come up to me and say Rehan I'm so sorry for your loss but you know what let's go 00:07:42.280 --> 00:07:45.510 grab dinner on the corner tonight, let's go to a basketball game together, why 00:07:45.510 --> 00:07:49.250 don't we take this class together next semester, oh, let's go join this club and 00:07:49.250 --> 00:07:52.770 I realized that something very strange was happening here right because there's 00:07:52.770 --> 00:07:57.330 no reason they should have been doing this, but what I realized was this was 00:07:57.330 --> 00:08:01.460 just another way JP was reaching out to me this was how he was pushing me into 00:08:01.460 --> 00:08:05.500 this community once again and so I realized I had to give it a shot I had 00:08:05.500 --> 00:08:10.320 to embrace my best friend's legacy one more time and throw myself into 00:08:10.320 --> 00:08:14.000 this community and that's what I did and that's how I found my home over again so 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:16.940 I did twice here I joined a bunch of clubs I started going to classes I 00:08:16.940 --> 00:08:20.120 started meeting friends that I'll have for the rest of my life I became a 00:08:20.120 --> 00:08:23.070 resident advisor that semester because I wanted to give back to the first-years 00:08:23.070 --> 00:08:26.010 were trying to find their home here again I started giving tours last 00:08:26.010 --> 00:08:31.010 semester even though I was super old to do that because I love meeting people 00:08:31.010 --> 00:08:33.719 and showing them that this is a place that matters and this is a place that's 00:08:33.719 --> 00:08:38.229 home because of the people that exist here so, yes, we have fantastic academics 00:08:38.229 --> 00:08:41.839 and we have incredible sports and the school is a phenomenal place to be 00:08:41.839 --> 00:08:45.339 and it's super beautiful, but what matters here is the people and 00:08:45.339 --> 00:08:48.550 that is why I'm so insistent that this is a place where you do build those 00:08:48.550 --> 00:08:53.560 bridges so every day I find myself getting up in the morning and yes I'm 00:08:53.560 --> 00:08:56.750 way more outgoing than I used to be and I can thank JP a lot for that, but every 00:08:56.750 --> 00:09:01.310 day there are some moments where I realize I should push myself this time 00:09:01.310 --> 00:09:04.730 and JP would always say this cliché thing he would say he would say life 00:09:04.730 --> 00:09:08.939 begins at the edge of your comfort zone right and I said JP go stitch that on a 00:09:08.939 --> 00:09:16.480 pillow but every day when I find myself having to force myself to do something 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:19.689 that pushes me out of my comfort zone like this for example 00:09:19.689 --> 00:09:24.379 I think of JP and he pushes me forward so just keep swimming and thank you guys.